How do really posh dogs send messages?

By predigree-mail.

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Why were there so many Hawaiian lei's at the funeral?

the obituary read "Please send donations in luau flowers."

Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die?

Because they didn't Lajka.

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How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.