What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

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What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know?

Jiu Jitsu.

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What did the squirrel say when it saw the acorn tree cut down and taken away?

Thats nuts

What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.