What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

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What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans?

Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans.

Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

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Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train?

Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)

What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing?

They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation.