What's 16 centimetres long and makes every girl happy?

A 500 bill.

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Why do girls have legs?

ever seen the trail a slug leaves?

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?

The girl necks door.

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What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?

About 500 calories.