What says "Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!" ?

A dog with a hair lip

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How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

How do you make a Cat sound like a Dog?

You pour some gasoline on it, light it on fire and it will go

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What was it worth?

Two marks.

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more?

Philip Hoffman's belt.