24+ Funny Mark Jokes - Curious United

Why couldn't Mark think of a dad joke?

Mark is black.

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

What type of dog leaves a mark?

shar pei

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

What was it worth?

Two marks.

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more?

Philip Hoffman's belt.

What says "Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!" ?

A dog with a hair lip

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road?

The dead cat has skid marks around it.

What happened when the black man went to night school?

The teacher marked him absent.

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

How long did you spend on your cosplay?

Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*

Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans?

gt marked as spam

Why is your January report card so bad ?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !

How do you get a fool to read something?

Mark it as NSFW

This joke may have profanity.

How do werewolves mark their territory?

Lycanthropee

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?

X marks the pot, matey."

What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam Mark: That's right.

What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg?

Marked down!

Why do you think your report should be on the net?

Because my marks are all 'E's.

How do Religious Education teachers mark exams?

With spirit levels.

What did Tommy Wiseau say when he got an A on his final?

Oh, hi Marks!

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE: