Why is your January report card so bad ?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band?

Because they don't even know if they believe.

Why can't the incredible hulk find a girlfriend?

Because all the girls know he just wants to smash

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do Eskimos make things stick together?

Igloo

What's the difference between a terrorist and a feminist?

The terrorist needs a trigger to blow things up.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

A family.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

Jose and Hose B

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What type of dog leaves a mark?

shar pei

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road?

The dead cat has skid marks around it.

January Jokes More January Jokes

Who's the wost president ever?

Guess we'll find out in January.

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January?

He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey.