What's wrongdad?

Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the homeless yoga instructor say when he was told to leave his camp site?

Namaste.

What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left?

You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What time?

Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now.

What are you going to be for Halloween dad?

me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be me: Mad

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why did Kennedy throw his head back?

He was taking a shot.

Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ?

Because it hurt.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

How did hipster kid hurt himself?

He touched the stove before it was cool...

What do you call a short sleeved British shirt?

A tea-shirt. Please don't hurt me.