Who's the wost president ever?

Guess we'll find out in January.

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What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

Why is paper money more valuable than coins?

When you put it in your pocket you double it and when you take it out you find it in creases. -

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How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

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Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5?

Because he knows how to reduce fractions.

Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.