What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How do you turn a duck into a blues singer?

Leave it out in the sun until its Bill Withers

Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read?

The braille left her lips numb.

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What's your favorite joke appropriate for a 6-8 year old?

I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!

What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs?

I can't remember.

Commander Jokes More Commander Jokes

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

How long did you spend on your cosplay?

Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road?

The dead cat has skid marks around it.

Matt Damon Jokes More Matt Damon Jokes

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

How do you sabotage a space mission ?

Send Matt Damon