Commander Jokes

Who is the commander of cheese?

Sargento

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What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

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Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did the owner of a brownie factory say when his factory caught fire?

I'm getting the fudge outta here!"

Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire?

A Snowman.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the last thing each tickle-me-elmo doll gets before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles

Why are people not right in the head?

Because on the left side of the brain there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left!

Iron Woman Jokes More Iron Woman Jokes

What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command.

Whats the difference between Iron Man and iron woman?

One is a superhero the other is a simple instruction

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

How many fingers do I have up?

a gynecologist who thinks he's really funny

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous?

It fro's up.

What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship?

The crews got marooned

Terminal Illness Jokes More Terminal Illness Jokes

What is a computer virus?

A terminal illness.

What do you call a virus that affects the command line?

Terminal Illness

Command Jokes More Command Jokes

How is working in I.T. like being a wizard?

You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens.

What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command.

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending condescending

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane