Commander Jokes

Who is the commander of cheese?

Sargento

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What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

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Terminal Illness Jokes More Terminal Illness Jokes

What is a computer virus?

A terminal illness.

What do you call a virus that affects your command-line?

A Terminal Illness.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did Captain Hook die?

Jock itch.

What did they call Jesus after He died on the cross?

Xavier

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

Why do you want to be a psychiatrist?

pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice Fingers!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman and a computer?

A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies

What did the woman say to the stamp collector to reject his romantic advances?

Philately will get you no where.

Peg Leg Jokes More Peg Leg Jokes

What do you call a flight commandeered by pirates?

A peg leg.

Why was the 'P' irate?

Because his peg leg made him go 'R'

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do you call it when Batman leaves church early?

Christian Bale

What's long and black?

every day How did Hellen Keller lose her virginity Someone left a plunger in the toilet

Donald Jokes More Donald Jokes

What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Command Alt Right.

What does Melania disagree with Donald on?

Anchor babes.

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars