Commander Jokes

Who is the commander of cheese?

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What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

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Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a French girl?

You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

Why do bald guys have holes in their pockets?

So they can run their fingers through their hair.

Command Jokes More Command Jokes

How is working in I.T. like being a wizard?

You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens.

Who is second in command in the kitchen at a Native American owned restaurant?

The Sioux chef

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans?

gt marked as spam

Why is your January report card so bad ?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

Shortcut Jokes More Shortcut Jokes

What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Command Alt Right.

What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?

A Chihuahua because it knows all the shortcuts!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call ten thousand pastors setting themselves on fire in protest of marriage equality?

A good start.

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's another word for knowing that you're right?

Woman

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person