Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs?

Because his arms were blown off.

Why did Will die?

Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: "Fire at will"

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Where does Joseph Kony train his soldiers?

Arizona

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home?

IUD

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

a smile and wave!

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

You might also enjoy:

Toast Jokes More Toast Jokes

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili

March Jokes More March Jokes

Why is the Champs-Elysees lined with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade.

Why are the streets in Paris lined with trees?

So the German soldiers can march in shade.

Avenue Jokes More Avenue Jokes

Why there are so many avenues in France?

Because german soldiers like to march in the shade

Why are there so many avenues in Belgium?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow.

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

How much for this remote controlled alien?

Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."

What's the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher?

They can't control their pupils.

Camouflage Training Jokes More Camouflage Training Jokes

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore?

They all lost their hearing

What do you call a matador who lost to the bull?

A mat'o'gore.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What did the chicken say before it crossed the road?

I'll be Ba Ba Ba Baaach!

What's the first sign of football in the bible?

Jesus going up for the cross!