Roman Soldier Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !

This joke may have profanity.

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What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

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What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

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What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

What do tornadoes and redneck divorces have in common?

Either way, someone is going to end up losing a trailer.

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How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

What does the 'H' in Jesus 'H' Christ stand for?

Haploid

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Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs?

Because his arms were blown off.

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What do you call a retired soldier who's been blighted with mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.