Salt Jokes

When is a product with 70% less salt a bad thing?

When you're buying salt.

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What does Gandhi not like on the Internet?

Salt

What's purple and sequels?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt. *squeals

Why does salt melt snow?

Because when your salty you melt down in tears.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why do some people like to date pessimists?

All that salt must make them thirsty.

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

Why are League of Legends players the most skeptical people on Earth?

Because they take everything with a grain of salt.

Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.

What did the stoner drop when he listened to dubstep?

Salt.

What did the salt say to the pepper?

Season's greetings!

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What's the difference between LinkedIn and McDonald's?

McDonald's knows how to use salt

Whats white and salty?

Salt.

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

How did the butcher cure cancer?

With salt.

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast?

Hash with alot of Salt

What's red and loud?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What do you call someone who likes to rap about salt?

NaCl-more.

What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper?

A seasoned veteran.

What did NaCl go to prison for?

A-salt

Why do so many white people do meth?

Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*

What did the french fry say to the police officer?

Help me! I've been a-salted!

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

How did the cynic die?

He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt.

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)?

one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

What did the scientist who got attacked by sodium chloride say?

That's a salt!

What do you call Michael J. Fox and Muhammad Ali?

Salt and Pepper shakers

What did the scientist say after attacking his colleague with sodium chloride?

That's a salt!

Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?

The SALT talks!

How much salt does Jihadi John have on his chips?

Just a Daesh.

What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head?

A seasoned traveller.

What did the woman say while she was having a baby?

This could use some salt."

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Salt Lick City.

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Why cant Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she ends up with a frog in her throat.

When is a product with 70% less salt a bad thing?

When you're buying salt.

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What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered .

What did the black boy say when he had diarrhea?

I'm melting!

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What's red and loud?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

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How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out.

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Why can't you take a pig out on a date?

Because she will squeal on you.

Why were they caught so quickly?

They squealed on each other.

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What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

What's at the end of every movie?

Insert coin

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Why do the sharks only swim in salt water?

because they would sneeze in pepper water.

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.