What is the time ?

2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !

This joke may have profanity.

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Why do Communist Dictators have trouble getting their work done on time?

They're way too into Stalin

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ?

It saves so much time.

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What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?

That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.