Roman Jokes

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

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Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why should you never high-five a Roman?

They might give you Hi-V back!

What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?

Gladiator.

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

What do you call a lost legion?

A Roman army

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb?

I I

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

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What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What do you call a Roman fighter with curly hair in his teeth?

Gladiator. (Glad he ate her)

What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter?

An Italian sub!

What did jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

How did Roman magistrates keep fit?

Pontius Pilates.

What did the old Frankish barbarians say to the Roman invasion?

You don't have the to do it!"

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks )

What did the Roman premature ejaculater say?

Veni, Vidi, Veni.

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast?

Fruity Plebbles.

What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors?

A Julius Seizure.

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging?

Because X was always 10

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What mouse was a Roman emperor ?

Julius Cheeser !

When in Rome do as the Romans you know?

Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry

What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth?

Gladiator

What is it called when a Roman gets really sick?

Chicken Pox Romana

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What taste good?

Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke Tender: *facepalm*

Why did the roman only smoke 490 blunts and not 500?

Because XD

Why are 490 Romans are funny ?

Because XD Edit : Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here

What people travel the most?

Romans.

What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal?

JOHN CENA

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

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What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling?

He likes it dirty.

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!

Roman Soldier Jokes More Roman Soldier Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

Why do sovereign citizens never turn on the lights?

The sound of electricity triggers their PTSD.

Why were the Chinese trying to light a bbq grill out in the rain?

Because it was raining cats and dogs. :D

V Jokes More V Jokes

What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter?

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

True Love Jokes More True Love Jokes

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Season Veteran Jokes More Season Veteran Jokes

What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.

What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates?

God dogs

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?

With dog diskettes!

How do you make a horomone?

You don't pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )