What do you call a epileptic roman emperor?

Just had a Seizure. (too those who dont get it read it out loud quickly)

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What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script?

Speechless

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

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What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent.