Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

Why don't Canadians have many orgies?

Too many thank-you notes.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why isn't there a college in the world of Harry Potter?

Because even Magic can't pay your college Loan

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

How about that airline food?

They give you two choices but their always out of one.

What's an MLG's smartphone of choice?

An HTC One M8.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why do people starve?

When food tastes so good.

What's a Southeastern Asian business professional's favorite food?

Tie food

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A salad shooter.

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.