What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?

One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.

What's the difference between a baby and a tree?

Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do Redditors pay with exact change?

They can't stand a Nickleback!

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey?

To flick through it as fast as possible.

Chickpea Jokes More Chickpea Jokes

What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?

I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel.

Lentil Jokes More Lentil Jokes

Whats the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

No one ever paid $50 to have a Lentil on their face.

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my chest.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

How do you stop a clown from laughing?

Hit it in the face with an axe.