How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Whats the difference between an environmentalist and a dog sitting in the rain?

eventually the dog sitting in the rain will stop whinging.

Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?

He wanted something to get his teeth into.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the cannibal ask for in his burrito?

Human beans

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's the worst part of getting hit in the face with pie?

It's never ending.

How do you stop a clown from laughing?

Hit it in the face with an axe.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?

Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?

The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What happens when a woman can't remember her mastectomy?

Mammary loss &ampnbsp I made this up myself!

Why can't you be the king I know?

The king you have inside you SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash?

Tele-Scope.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?

Because he was in-bread.

What do you call a fish with no eyes ?

Fish !

Fight Club Jokes More Fight Club Jokes

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.