How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

tape velcro to the ceiling.

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you make a Game of Thrones fan sad?

You ask them to hold the door for you.

What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it?

We Can't Alope

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean?

I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face.

What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common?

the resistance of both drop when doped.

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What is a Japanese favourite beverage that they don't remember?

Affogato"

Why can't you be the king I know?

The king you have inside you SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why couldn't Biggy or Tupac ever get decent internet on their phones?

They were just 2G's

What kind of music do phones love to hear?

A symphony

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What's the cleanest country in the world (in the eyes of the Germans?

Nigeria.

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A: A horse and rider.

Fight Club Jokes More Fight Club Jokes

What's the best part about a Fight Club joke?

The punchline.

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"