What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen's winning.

What's the difference between a corpse and a Chinese baby girl?

5 minutes

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

What do you call a puppy combined with bread?

Well, It's not a purebread anymore.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's orange and white and stops at sunlight?

Gingers

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV?

The Patriots

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above?

A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.

What, really?

I said. "Yes, they're coming to pick you up in an hour"

Whine Jokes More Whine Jokes

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

Why are you so excited?

the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!