Hour Jokes

How many back to the future jokes do you make?

88 jokes per hour.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What is red and green, and goes over 3000 miles per hour?

A frog in the blender

How do you know when you are a drug addict?

when you realize that you have had 2 strepsils within one hour.

What goes 30 miles per hour and smells like curry?

Usain Balti

What is green, red and goes 90 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

How do you make a buff guy talk to you for hours?

ask about his routine.

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

What was an elephant doing on the freeway?

About 5 miles per hour.

How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

What is that new movie about?

About an hour

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours?

Skip to the next track

What do white guys do that lasts hours and makes white women scream?

NASCAR

Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end?

It was unmiscible.

How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

Why did the blind driver have no hands?

He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour

How is Disneyland like Viagra?

An hour wait for a 30 second ride.

This joke may have profanity.

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

Why is Viagra like Disneyworld?

You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride

This joke may have profanity.

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

gun hangs head & turns around

What to do if you run over a black man in the rain?

Well, you have an hour before the rain dries...

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

What do Viagra and Disney World have in common?

A one-hour wait for a two-minute ride

This joke may have profanity.

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

What, really?

I said. "Yes, they're coming to pick you up in an hour"

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above?

A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.

How do you keep a Redditor busy for hours?

Click Here(http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ou62j/howdoyoukeeparedditorbusyforhours/)

What can relax you and drown you at the same time?

A one-hour facial.

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he gets three hours credit.

What do you call Captain Forte and his sidekick Piano?

A dynamic duo! This joke came to me in my delirious state after hours of band camp practices.

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?

Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour.

What does a Disneyland ride and Viagra have in common?

You have to wait one hour for a 3 minute ride.

This joke may have profanity.

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

Whats the difference between Facebook and Reddit?

About two hours.

How do you make a Gorilla stew?

You keep it waiting for three hours!

Why me?

for the full hour.

What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour?

A double crosser.

Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor?

His resurrection lasted more than four hours.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

Why did Bill Murray's cameo have a sore back?

It had to carry the new Ghostbusters movie for almost two hours.

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?

Click here to find out the answer.(http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2b57xv/howdoyoukeepanidiotbusyforhours/)

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he gets three hours credit.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Emo Kid Jokes More Emo Kid Jokes

Where would you find the emo kid at his birthday party?

Just *hanging* out by himself in the bedroom

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.

What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

Why was Game Of Thrones banned from twitter?

Because twitter has an 140 character limit.

What do you call a joke that has been internet obsolete for a while?

The Game.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What has 90 balls and screws old women?

Bingo!

Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning?

A: She opens the car door.

When last did you get lit?

Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

Why ?

She : For starters I can't handle your silly jokes. He : Hmm okay and for main course

How would you say you handle job pressure?

Not a problem.jpg

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did Kelly Clarkson cross the road?

Because of you.

What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket?

How far do you think i can kick this bucket Also, Why did the chicken cross the road He was in the bucket(/spoiler)

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

What was the poltergeist arrested for at the campground?

Possession within tent

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.