Why doesn't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he's dead.

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Where's Wally?

book today but couldn't find one anywhere. Well played, Wally. Well played.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

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What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord?

A-minor

Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?

He's been underground for five years now.

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Why don't I play chess with the Prodigy?

they smack my bishop

Why are Americans bad at chess?

They lost two towers