Why doesn't God like fruitcake?

Because he doesn't exist.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a guy who likes touching unripened cheese?

A fetaphile

What would you like to Instagram?

how waiters should greet people

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do my dad and God have in common?

I've never seen or heard from either of them.

What's that machine for?

Oh, that's the forklift" ME: OH MY GOD HOW HEAVY ARE YOUR FORKS

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

What do you call inventory that doesn't exist?

Finnish Goods

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

Fruitcake Jokes More Fruitcake Jokes

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

Why isn't John Oliver having sultanas in his fruitcake?

Because it's the currant year.