Why was Pinocchio acting drunk?

He couldn't handle his lacquer

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Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

What did the black kid get on his ACT?

BBQ sauce

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Why is mild cheddar even a thing?

Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

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How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys