Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

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What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

How many people work in the Lada factory?

Two. One to cut and one to glue

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What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.