Why did the blind driver have no hands?

He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How did the hipster burn his hand?

He was into lightbulbs before they were cool.

Why do lawyer's suits never have pants pockets?

Because their hands are always in someone else's!

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How much would you say you read the Bible?

Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

What to do if you run over a black man in the rain?

Well, you have an hour before the rain dries...

Road Sign Jokes More Road Sign Jokes

Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle?

A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'

How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!