Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

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What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's so funny?

asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

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Why are you so excited?

the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

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How to get a job without experience ?

Just run for office!

What is a long distance love?

It's when you're in the office, bed is at home and whiskey is in the bar.

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Whats the difference between a chicken and an alligator?

I don't know.

What's the difference between an arts student and a table?

A table can support itself

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What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot?

Pretzalcoatl

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

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What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists?

The Qu Qu Qu?

What is a group of endermen called?

A basketball team

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When can women make you a millionaire?

When you're a billionaire.

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

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What do you call Bruno Mars?

Michael Jackson the third.

What did the dad say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

Get out of my son!"

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What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.