Surgeon Jokes

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

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What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Why did a surgeon go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's so funny?

asks the dermatologist. "Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

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Why are you so excited?

the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

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Chest Jokes More Chest Jokes

Why did the lady tell her doctor she had breast cancer?

Because she wanted to get it off her chest.

What is the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

I've never had a Lentil on my chest.

Important Thing Jokes More Important Thing Jokes

What are the three most important things to an orthopedic surgeon's business?

Dislocation, dislocation, dislocation

What is the most important thing for a hungry shark?

A-fish-in-sea.

Skin Colour Jokes More Skin Colour Jokes

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?

Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour... ...And then the building exploded.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if you violate Reddit's content policy?

removed

What happened to the man running in front of a car?

He got tired. The man running behind the car -- he got exhausted.

Office Jokes More Office Jokes

What are you looking for buddy?

Normal day at the office, when one guy notices his coworker distraught. He goes over to his cubicle and sees him looking for something on the floor. They spend half an hour looking for it, when the guy starts picking his nose:

Why is American Airlines the best airlines company?

Because they are the only one to drop you directly to your office.

Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

Why are you laughing?

My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don't see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!

Why did Al Gore go to the dentist for a tooth pulling?

He had an Inconvenient Tooth.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why are there no good jokes about men?

Because they were written by women.

What is strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of my hand...

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.