Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What's dad's best one-liner?

My wife."

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What does a gift and a black man have in common?

White children get immense joy after tearing one open

What should you not gift a Syrian this year?

A drone

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why should you never buy Russian jeans?

Chernobyl fallout

What do you use to buy drinks?

Bar tender

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call the god of cheese?

Cheesus

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How many women does it take to invent something?

Nobody knows, history is still waiting....

Why did Jon Snow wait in line at the Apple store ?

For the watch .

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Why didn't Mick Jagger pick Randy Moss up from the airport?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

How about a really bad food court where planes land?

Pitch for every airport

Punish Jokes More Punish Jokes

Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished?

In a high pressure cell

Why is it difficult to punish vampires?

They can't reflect on what they've done.