Gift Jokes

What should you not gift a Syrian this year?

A drone

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids?

Because it'd Krampus style.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary?

Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).

What does a gift and a black man have in common?

White children get immense joy after tearing one open

Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing?

They have the gift of tongues...

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

Where do black parents get gifts for their children?

At Toys We Is

What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?

Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

What do gifted bakers take in high school?

AP Flour

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's."

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What does an illustrator say to his girlfriend on Valentine ?

I'm font of you.

How did the truck get his girlfriend?

Pickup lines

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why can't witches have babies?

Because their husbands have hollow-weenies.

What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time?

A widow

7 Jokes More 7 Jokes

Why did 6 break up with 7?

Because 7 ate 9 out

What do you call an exploding box?

Your new Note 7 package

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Where do you see yourself exploding in five years?

they asked.

What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What's ISIS favourite meal?

Turkey! Its the bomb!

Why does ISIS only drink drip coffee?

Because they hate French Press!

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !

What happens on the first date with Bill Cosby?

I don't remember

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where do you want me to put my clothes?

She says, "On top of mine."

What did the Chili's waitress say about her kidnapped daughter?

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.