Gift Jokes

What should you not gift a Syrian this year?

A drone

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids?

Because it'd Krampus style.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary?

Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).

What does a gift and a black man have in common?

White children get immense joy after tearing one open

Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing?

They have the gift of tongues...

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

Where do black parents get gifts for their children?

At Toys We Is

What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?

Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

What do gifted bakers take in high school?

AP Flour

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's."

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

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Hearse Jokes More Hearse Jokes

What do the bathroom doors at the funeral home say?

His and Hearse.

What do you call a repair shop that specializes in hearses?

A rehearsal.

Supreme Court Jokes More Supreme Court Jokes

What's the difference in the KKK and the Supreme Court?

The KKK dresses in white and scares the hell out of black people, the Supreme Court dresses in black and scares the hell out of white people.

Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice?

Because his mind was always on a pellet.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

Why do hummingbirds hum?

They don't know the words.

What has one "n", two "g"s, an "i", "e", and an "r" and you can only say this word when you belong to this group?

ginger

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Where are you when you're in the U.K. waiting for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue

Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

Employee Jokes More Employee Jokes

Which is the only bank that drug tests all of its employees?

PNC

Why did the gifting company fire their last employee ?

Because they got a bad wrap.

Syrian Jokes More Syrian Jokes

How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

What do you get when you let 25,000 Syrian refugees into Canada during the winter?

Isisicles

Dentist Jokes More Dentist Jokes

What did the dentist see at the North Pole?

A molar bear

What do you call someone who discriminates you for your oral hygiene?

A dent*ist*.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ?

Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV.

What was that?

4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.