Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

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Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?

Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs?

The Muppets

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

What do you call a homeless man?

A Hobo Sapien.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

What celebrity is most likely to stab you?

James Blunt

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa?

A good start.

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?

So they can park in handicapped spaces.

How do you suffocate a redneck?

Tape his mouth shut.