Night Jokes

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

What did the fisherman and his girlfriend do last night?

Net fish and krill

What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

How does the Addidas executive work through the night?

Three lines

Why do moslem girls love black guys?

more satisfaction at night for wearing a ninja suit all day.

What did Jesus said to his girlfriend in the morning?

Damn, you really nailed me last night.

This joke may have profanity.

What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

A foot long

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

Where did the zombie go on his night out?

To the st club.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

What's the best thing about having insomnia?

Only one nights sleep til Christmas!

What do ladies-of-the-night do when in their garden?

They hoe it.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog.

What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What does a Knight do at night?

Nighty Night

What do you call a horse at night?

A Nightmare

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.

What does a bee do with his stinger at night?

Put it in his honey.

What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Why did the sauce need a night light?

Because he was alfredo the dark!

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

Where do Crows hang out on friday night?

The crow bar.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.

Whats hard, black, and keeps me up all night?

My Roku.

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

Why was the little shoe sad?

I'm here all night

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

What did one tonsil say to the other?

Get dressed a doctor is taking us out to night.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog.

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

What does a dyslectic, agnostic, insomniac think about at night?

Is there really a dog. Dog lover joke.

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been??!!" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!

What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?

I didn't make an enzyme last night.

Why are Muslims so good at driving at night?

Because that's when they brake fast.

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night?

Piratechnics!

What do you call a group of Beavers?

A hens nights

Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos?

Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.

What do you do when you get to the top of the world's tallest mountain?

Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....