What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

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Microsoft Jokes More Microsoft Jokes

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did the polygamist horse get on his wedding night?

A double bridle

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

Brock Turner Jokes More Brock Turner Jokes

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

Consent Jokes More Consent Jokes

What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of?

misogynistic.

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

Install Jokes More Install Jokes

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

Why does the French Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks?

So that they can see the battle.