Brock Turner Jokes

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Why'd the seaman cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong sock that day.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

What do Jesus and your mom have in common?

They both got nailed all night.

Microsoft Jokes More Microsoft Jokes

What does his wife call it?

Microsoft.

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9 and going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9!

Consent Jokes More Consent Jokes

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. Their President outsources the job to India.

Install Jokes More Install Jokes

Why does the French Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks?

So that they can see the battle.

How do you install "blackout curtains"?

They just get hammered.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail?

Small medium at large.

What's black and brown on the inside and blue and white on the outside?

Jail