What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!

Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

x-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

Where does a redditor get most of his news from?

The Hydraulic Press

What do redditors and litterers have in common?

I'm just gonna leave this here."

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ?

So he could tell the time at night !

What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?

I didn't make an enzyme last night.

Big Similarity Jokes More Big Similarity Jokes

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Whack Jokes More Whack Jokes

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".

What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver?

The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa