What did Jesus said to his girlfriend in the morning?

Damn, you really nailed me last night.

This joke may have profanity.
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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What would Jesus actually do?

Probably ban nail guns

Why did Jesus go to the gym?

To make sure his cross fit.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Howdo you stop a baby from running in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common?

they are both 8........

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!

Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?

So they have something to do at night.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you do when your one night stand doesn't take Plan B?

Plan C-ya.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.