What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What Do You Call A Dog With Wings?

Linda McCartney

What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up?

A dog.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

How do zombies communicate in times of war?

Cryptic code.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep?

Their cicadan rhythm is off

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you do when you get to the top of the world's tallest mountain?

Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....

Why do pro gamers get up at 1:37pm?

Because it's 13:37! I came up with this last night and have been waiting to post it until 1:37pm my time.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Why does wonder woman fly?

Because she can't drive for sh*t.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.