What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does a dog see in the mirror?

A chair

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

What did T-Rex say after doing yoga for the first time?

dinosore

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why did the student fail the exam?

Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin

Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How does Optimus Prime stay young looking?

Autobotulism

What do you call a stay-at-home parent?

Unemployed.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a horse at night?

A Nightmare

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What's the most scandalous of the wonders of the ancient world?

The Colossus of Scrotes.