Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What will men do for pleasure at that time?

God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.

How do cows measure time?

In mooments

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates?

Would you like fries with that "

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call two women in a canoe?

Fur traders!

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where does Crazy Horse live?

In an unstable.

Why is Santa Clause always so Jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How are a full count in baseball and a mutated 2 time convict the same?

They both have 3 balls and 2 strikes.

Why can't Jamaicans count to 10?

Because there's a *tree* in the way!

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay?

WATERBOARDING!!!

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Parking Jokes More Parking Jokes

Why are women bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to all their lives about how long "8" inches is.

Why did Nobelium's car got towed away?

He parked at a parking!