What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, I already told her twice.

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What do you call a 2 legged dog who always ignore your calls?

Your ex!

What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

A No. 2 pencil.

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What do you say to a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. She's already been told.

Why don't women sleep on the left side of the bed?

Because they always want to be right.

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What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, I already told her twice.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you've already told her twice.