Parking Jokes

Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

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Why did Nobelium's car got towed away?

He parked at a parking!

Why are women bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to all their lives about how long "8" inches is.

Why are women so bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

What happens when you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?

It keeps coming, and coming, and coming...

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

Trailer Jokes More Trailer Jokes

What do tornadoes and redneck divorces have in common?

Either way, someone is going to end up losing a trailer.

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

Writer Jokes More Writer Jokes

What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

How did the writer pop the question?

He per-prosed

Spaceman Jokes More Spaceman Jokes

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

You park your car, man.

What did the spaceman see in his frying pan?

An unidentified frying object.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What do you call a guy who hangs around a bunch of musicians?

A drummer!!!!!

What is the difference between a women's track team and a pack of gerbils?

The gerbils are a bunch of cunning runts.

Litter Jokes More Litter Jokes

Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens?

She didn't want to litter

What does Bill Gates call it when someone drops a $20 bill on the ground?

Littering.

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?

They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.

Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox?

Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.