Because it's on the house.
A: Tally hohoho!
He kept saying "Ho Ho Ho" *dum roll - rim slap*
On a piece rate.
They'll both lie and tell you it's a footlong to get paid.
Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.
Mortgage freeman.
Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.