Artist Jokes

What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a artist with a rash?

Leonardo Da Itchy

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

Why did the artist throw his eraser away?

Because it wasn't

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What did the artist say to the dentist?

Matisse hurt!

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?

He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.

Who's the artist you find in the supermarket?

Salvador Deli

What do you call an artist in a dark alley?

Sketchy

Whats the difference between a park bench and an artist?

A park bench can support a family of four.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings?

He wanted to mount an exhibit!

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist?

Because he was sketchy.

What's the difference between an artist and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common?

They both prefer to be called "artists" instead of what they really are.

Why do artists never win when they play football ?

They keep drawing !

How did the artist paint a picture?

A: Easel-y.

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

You might also enjoy:

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do somolian pirates use as weapons?

Arrrrpg's

What are pigskins used for?

Holding the pig together.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?

You can't ride your bike on a sociopath

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

Raphael Jokes More Raphael Jokes

What do Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael have in common?

They're all Renaissance Italian artists.

What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

What's that, turkey?

GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well GOBBLE GOBBLE breaks turkey's neck no time for your riddles, in the oven you go

Injure Jokes More Injure Jokes

What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic?

A rebel without a gauze.

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

Scam Artist Jokes More Scam Artist Jokes

What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs?

Condescending

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

Matisse Jokes More Matisse Jokes

What did the artist say to the dentist?

Matisse hurt!

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.