Artist Jokes

What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

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What do you call a artist with a rash?

Leonardo Da Itchy

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

Why did the artist throw his eraser away?

Because it wasn't

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What did the artist say to the dentist?

Matisse hurt!

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?

He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.

Who's the artist you find in the supermarket?

Salvador Deli

What do you call an artist in a dark alley?

Sketchy

Whats the difference between a park bench and an artist?

A park bench can support a family of four.

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Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings?

He wanted to mount an exhibit!

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist?

Because he was sketchy.

What's the difference between an artist and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common?

They both prefer to be called "artists" instead of what they really are.

Why do artists never win when they play football ?

They keep drawing !

How did the artist paint a picture?

A: Easel-y.

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

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Matisse Jokes More Matisse Jokes

What did the artist say to the dentist?

Matisse hurt!

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.

Martial Art Jokes More Martial Art Jokes

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-thai.

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you say to an ugly person?

Anything you like, what are they going to do about it?

Which would you like, a piano or a motorcycle?

Yes." (Yamaha)

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What did the Italian baseball coach say about the only woman on the team?

Ciabatta very good!

What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?

Only one cannoli.

Rash Jokes More Rash Jokes

What do you call a artist with a rash?

Leonardo Da Itchy

What do you call an impatient skin infection?

Rash*

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded."

What do you get when you put mice in the oven?

Mice crispies.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a dog and Windows 10?

A dog knows what is 'no'.

What's the difference between a gambler and a Kasich supporter?

A gambler might lose.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do fish lose weight?

They Swim-fast.

Why did Brazil lose the World Cup?

Weak back.