Injure Jokes

What do you call an injured martial artist?

Bruised Lee

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How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

What does an injured gyro say?

I falafel."

Who do you call when a sleepwalker injures himself?

The somnambulance.

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

Where would you put an injured insect ?

In an antbulance !

What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man?

Why don't you try icing it

What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic?

A rebel without a gauze.

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

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Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery?

He injured his spline!

What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?

A hobblin' goblin

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List Jokes More List Jokes

What's your funniest yet least known joke?

I have a friend that absolutely loves cheesy, question and answer jokes and I wanna make a card with a list of them! The problem is that she knows just about every joke known to man so I challenge you to give me hilarious, short jokes that aren't very widely known. Make me laugh!

Why don't they have phone books in China?

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What do you call a tree that protects Gotham City?

Spruce Wayne

How did the tree get on to Reddit?

It just logged on...

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the football team take the short bus to the game?

They needed more downs.

How amphetamine addiction is called?

Need for Speed.

Falafel Jokes More Falafel Jokes

What does an injured gyro say?

I falafel."

What did the Muslim bring to the Holiday party?

Falafel and hummus.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What did Groot say when he had amnesia?

Am I Groot? (Credit to my 7year old son)

Why didn't they just call "Ant-Man" Uncle?

Credit to Steve Higgins from The Tonight Show.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What is a terrorists favourite dessert?

Ice is

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100?

I'd say it's fifty fifty

What is round, heavy, has 3 holes, and is often found in a gutter?

My ex wife.

Rebel Jokes More Rebel Jokes

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

A rebel without a gauze