Injure Jokes

What do you call an injured martial artist?

Bruised Lee

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How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

What does an injured gyro say?

I falafel."

Who do you call when a sleepwalker injures himself?

The somnambulance.

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

Where would you put an injured insect ?

In an antbulance !

What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man?

Why don't you try icing it

What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic?

A rebel without a gauze.

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

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Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery?

He injured his spline!

What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?

A hobblin' goblin

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Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What is the meanest thing you could do to a blind person ?

Leave the plunger on the toilet.

How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

Carpool Tunnel Jokes More Carpool Tunnel Jokes

Why did the man go to the doctor after taking his friend to work?

He had carpool tunnel

How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are outdoor workers so in fit?

Cause they work out.

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

Gauze Jokes More Gauze Jokes

What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

A rebel without a gauze

What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic?

A rebel without a gauze.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?

Thanks I needed that.

Why did Satan need life alert?

Because he had fallen, and could not get back up.

Newfie Jokes More Newfie Jokes

Why do Newfies want Quebec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

How did the Newfie get his wife pregnant?

and you call us stupid.

List Jokes More List Jokes

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.