Injure Jokes

What do you call an injured martial artist?

Bruised Lee

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How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

What does an injured gyro say?

I falafel."

Who do you call when a sleepwalker injures himself?

The somnambulance.

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

Where would you put an injured insect ?

In an antbulance !

What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man?

Why don't you try icing it

What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic?

A rebel without a gauze.

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

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Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery?

He injured his spline!

What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?

A hobblin' goblin

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Cast Jokes More Cast Jokes

What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends?

The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies?

A rotisserie chicken

Gatorade Jokes More Gatorade Jokes

How do you hydrate a 2 year old at Disney World?

Gatorade

What do you give an injured alligator?

Gatorade

3d Jokes More 3d Jokes

Why won't a black man go see a 3d movie?

He'd rather spend his money on a forty

Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery?

He injured his spline!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

What do drug dealers sit on?

KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is.

Rebel Jokes More Rebel Jokes

Why do gyms produce the best Rebels?

Because of all the resistance training

What do you call it when a group of chickens rebel against their farmers?

Coop d'etah

List Jokes More List Jokes

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling very well. Credit to my four year old niece.

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix