They both prefer to be called "artists" instead of what they really are.
Avast, ye scurvy dogs!
Usually they prefer to be called "officer"
By crawling to the counter " GET OUT
A pedometer
A: Easel-y.
He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.
They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home
Jock the stripper.