What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common?

They both prefer to be called "artists" instead of what they really are.

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Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Which anti-virus software do pirates prefer?

Avast, ye scurvy dogs!

What do you call a pig sitting on a hog?

Usually they prefer to be called "officer"

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Artist Jokes More Artist Jokes

How did the artist paint a picture?

A: Easel-y.

Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?

He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.

Stripper Jokes More Stripper Jokes

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Why does nobody ever talk about Jack the Ripper's sleazier French cousin?

Jock the stripper.