What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do bad writers use to pick up hot pans?

Plot Holders.

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the pancake cross the road?

His friends egged him on

Why did Jim Morrison cross the road?

To break on through to the other side.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

Democracy

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!