What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?

A.It's cloged up with paper plates.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How many Mexicans does it take to wax a car?

1 if you hit him just right

Why should you slow down to let another car move into your lane?

good karma.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did Nietzsche tell his editor when he finished writing Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

It's over, man.

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?

A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How do you help someone with ADD or ADHD?

Send them to a concentration camp!

Why is it so hard to help deaf people?

Because they never listen.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.

When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent."