What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ?

He has cat-arrh !

How do you know if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a testicle.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Where does Stevie Wonder park his car?

In blind spots.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the man say when he walked into a milk bar?

Can I grab some milk *Bah dum tsss*

What did Nietzsche tell his editor when he finished writing Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

It's over, man.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !

Why is it so hard to keep track of counting in Afghanistan?

Because of the Taliban (say it out loud)

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question. Idiots can't screw in lightbulbs regardless of help from other idiots.

How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well?

She was shouting for help.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

How do you tell if someone online is American?

They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

Why does everyone agree when you judge someone's voice?

Because you make sound judgement.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with