Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What do you call a james bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

You might also enjoy:

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.

Absolute Jokes More Absolute Jokes

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What would be Jeopardy?

If this popular game show told a joke, it would put the punchline first.

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

Calculate Jokes More Calculate Jokes

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

Sith Jokes More Sith Jokes

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

Where do the Sith shop?

At the Darth Maul. :3

Sith Deal Jokes More Sith Deal Jokes

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Why did 9 bust 1?

Because 6 8 9

How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10?

He doesn't he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader

I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.