Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What do you call a james bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge Yoda was.

Why was number 4 blushing?

She saw 2 and 3 halving six

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

What's on the inside of a clean nose?

Fingerprints.

Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

What is a hippies favourite type of cigarette?

Yours :P

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Sith Deal Jokes More Sith Deal Jokes

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

Why do arabs use Colgate before going to the airport?

because it provides cavity protection

Huge Mess Jokes More Huge Mess Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

What do you call a pack of sorority girls who aren't in law school?

Deez hoes ain't lawyers.

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ?

Pack your trunk and clear out !"

Sith Jokes More Sith Jokes

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.