Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

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What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What do you call a james bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

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What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

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What's the difference between a baby and a tree?

Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off.

What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?

Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)

Disagree Jokes More Disagree Jokes

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Why did Bob disagree with communism?

He thought it was such Bolshevik.

Absolute Jokes More Absolute Jokes

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's the difference between me and a cardboard box?

A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside. :(

What's black on the outside, green on the inside and can go through walls?

Ghost avocado.

Chronic Math Debater Jokes More Chronic Math Debater Jokes

Why was the Mathematician frowned upon?

He was a chronic math-debater

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

What do blacks and bikes have in common?

They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit.

Calculate Jokes More Calculate Jokes

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Sith Jokes More Sith Jokes

Where do Siths do their shopping?

At the Darth Mall

Where do the Sith go shopping?

The Darth Mall.