Agree Jokes

Why does everyone agree when you judge someone's voice?

Because you make sound judgement.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

What do 9 out of 10 people agree on?

A gangbang

This joke may have profanity.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure?

You're such a Frank Castle."

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent."

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

When do men insist that women are illogical?

When a woman doesn't agree with them.

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

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Christians Jokes More Christians Jokes

What's the difference between Christianity and Judaism?

Christians pay for their sins

Who wants to get enraged and go persecute Christians?

No one.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special olympics?

It wasn't going over too well.

Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

because nobody made sandwiches

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck !

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

Gym Membership Jokes More Gym Membership Jokes

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why are gym memberships illegal?

Because of the Free Exercise Clause.

Daredevil Jokes More Daredevil Jokes

Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War?

He doesn't work well with Vision

What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure?

You're such a Frank Castle."

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a cow stops shaving?

It grows a Moostache.

What would happen if Leafy went to The Filthy Frank show?

Chin-chin would leave.

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

Violet Jokes More Violet Jokes

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What do you find at an end of the rainbow?

Violet