What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."

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Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What is the scariest thing to read in braile?

Do not touch"

What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers?

A: "All the Single Laddies" Edit: Read it carefully

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure?

You're such a Frank Castle."

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

Big Lie Jokes More Big Lie Jokes

What are the two biggest lies in Wyoming?

My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Term Jokes More Term Jokes

Why is K-9 another term for a dog?

Because if it was a cat, it would be a K-10.

What is the term for someone that gets aroused watching Star Wars?

They have a Bobba Fetish

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

Which service do you require?

Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.