Enjoy Jokes

Why do the rich enjoy tending to their gardens?

Because the they have an excuse to buy hose

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain?

A masochrist.

Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?

Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

Why does Hannibal Lecter skin his colleagues?

He enjoys the taste of Doctors Without Borders.

What do nine out of ten people enjoy?

A gangbang.

This joke may have profanity.

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

rated movies.

Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

Because Intel Inside.

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How do Hawaiians subtly enjoy a bad joke?

with a low "ha"

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them too.

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

Why do farts smell so bad?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie?

in a Dutch accent Not much Gouda

What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

What do a chick and KFC have in common?

Once you're done enjoying the legs, thighs and breasts your left with a greasy box to stick your bone in.

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

What do you call a cow if he enjoys burgers?

A cannibull

What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

Why do the Dutch enjoy Belgian jokes so much?

They're cheap.

What do 0/10 little boys enjoy?

Catholic priests

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

Why did the punster enjoy the Broadway show about etymology?

Because it was a play on words.

Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland?

Because it's a Finnish hymn.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

What does the Russian President enjoy having on his fries?

Putine...

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

Why do optometrists enjoy nautical jokes?

They have a good sense of aqueous humor.

Why don't the French enjoy travelling to Northern Ireland?

Because they don't like the smell of Derry air.

What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

Democracy

Whats the difference between Jesus and a whore?

They both moan when you nail them, but only one of them actually enjoys it.

This joke may have profanity.

Why do redneck men enjoy Halloween so much?

They love to pump kin.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why do adrenaline junkies enjoy camping?

Because it is in tents

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?

He could really get into the vaultz.

What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it?

A Jolly Rancher.

What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe?

He had to a-lock-eight into memory. -This is an original, hope you all enjoy.

Why did God make farts smell?

So that deaf people could enjoy them too.

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

What's white & falls from the sky?

The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

What do you do to relax?

I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know.

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food?

Because it just makes me falafel.

How can you tell if a Mobile software developer isn't enjoying his job?

He isn't very App-y

What do you call a person who enjoy mondays?

Unemployed

When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

Ten-ish.

Why do farts stink?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

Why are condoms transparent?

A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?

During PRIME time!

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

Why did Carrie Fisher enjoy doing her one-woman show?

Because she nailed that Solo.

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Why would a dentist make a good airport security guard?

They both enjoy a good cavity search!

What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most?

Pupperoni

Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic?

Because he enjoys living in denial.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

Because it's all play.

Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?

Guilty

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